Monday Dec 3rd

Yesterday I was talking about getting rid of the junk.   Which reminded me of something that happened in our house last week.

Ben is seven.  He is like any other cheeky seven yr old chappie and when he asked if he could go to the park the other day I said ' yes fine, but actually I'm going to the shop so I could walk up with you'.   'Oh no', he said ' I'll just go myself'  and off he went.   I should have been suspicious :-)
So after a while I went up to the shop and there was Ben coming out of the shop with his pockets full of trading cards which he had been expressly forbidden to buy.  I confronted him in the street and told him that I wasn't happy he had deceived me, spent money he didn't have ( where did he get it from?) and disobeyed specific instructions.  But I wasn't really cross.  I just shrugged internally and thought  ' Well, he has been found out.  He won't do that again.  I shall have a chat with him when I get home'

Went to the shop, came home. Went to look for Ben.  Nowhere to be seen.  Called for him.  Asked Josh where he was.  Called again and went looking.   Outside his bedroom door on the floor was a note which said
Sorry.  very very sorry.
Couldnt see him anywhere.

After another couple of minutes when I started to wonder if he had run away (!) he appeared at the top of the stairs sobbing so hard that I was convinced he had hurt himself.   He had one hand in his mouth so I thought he had trapped a hand in the door.  I couldn't get him to tell me what had happened.   After a few minutes he managed to sob that he was very sorry about the cards.  I was astounded that this display of grief was about the cards.
He was inconsolable.  I sat him on my knee and waited about ten minutes till he calmed down and then told him that I was disappointed that he had done a wrong thing  ( he had found money lying around the house and taken it), but that I wasn't really very cross and that because he was sorry I forgave him.   He was wailing  '  But what shall I DO Mummy?  What can I DO?'
I said well, he had apologised to me, now he should apologise to Jesus and he would feel better.
'I've been saying sorry to Jesus for the past 30 minutes!' he sobbed.   ( had to stifle a smile)

He then said that he didn't want the cards any more because they made him feel horrible.  We had a chat about guilt and how bad it feels.  He then decided he would sell the cards on ebay and give me the money. When he had settled on what he would DO ( to make it right) he seemed happier and off he went

It was then that it struck me.                        

I had just witnessed repentance.                              

Not because he had been found out by me.  He has been rumbled before on other things and never had a reaction like that.  But because God had put His finger on Ben and shown him something profound.   And once Ben and God had sorted it out then guilt was gone and Ben was free.  Really. :-)

And I wondered when was the last time I felt even remotely sad, sorry, wretched for the wrong stuff I do?? When was the last time I sobbed and said sorry and asked ' what shall I do?'   Never probably.

Im learning so much from my kids at the moment.  Sorry if I go on about them a bit over the next while - but they astound me. Often. They grasp the reality of a life with God so easily. And not because they have been indoctrinated, but because they each have a relationship with Him to which I have no access.  Or only as a spectator.  Its exciting and brilliant and sometimes rather intimidating!!!

Lord, 
thank you that your forgiveness provides us with a way of letting go of our guilt.  Help us to see the wrong in our lives as You see it, and to turn away from those things which offend You, hurt each other and are unproductive and destructive.  Give us the faith of children who know You with open hearts and embrace Your ways simply and truly.  Amen